Interesting fact of the day: I paid ten bucks for my car. That's right, ten bucks! For a lovely 1988 Toyota Camry which at the time had less than 100,000 miles on it. What a steal!
Fast forward 10 years, 50,000 miles and 2 recent health scares, Rosebud is still cookin. But...she ain't lookin so good. She's got a bald spot on her hood, a scuffed bumper, faded upholstery, a leaky trunk, and that's just for starters. Though apparently she is still of interest to some as proven by the 2, count em, 2 times she was broken into and the other time she was stolen from my place of work. But I digress.
Recently I got a flier about the cash for clunker bill and eagerly went online to investigate. Confident in my claim to clunkerdom, I dreamed of the shiny new car I would be able to trade up for. Maybe a cool new Hybrid, or a sleek sportscar, no- my dream car, a Mini Cooper! Finally, I'd have a head start on a down payment, I- wait. No. Ooooh, no. My clunker isn't a clunker? Whyyyyyyy??
I Read the fine print: Passenger vehicles must get 19mpg or less to qualify.
Wait a minute, they didn't say anything about gas mileage. I mean a clunker implies that the car in question is old, smelly, ugly, unreliable and renders the driver ashamed and embrassed to travel on public streets. Check, check, check-yep, I qualify for that.
Bummer. Rosemary may be all of the above, but she does get excellent gas mileage. Well, let's see if any of our other vehicles qualify. Where to start, oh, I know, the PT Cruiser. Dum de dum dah dum de dum... I just know this will qualify, that piece of tin gets terrible gas mileage. It-wait a minute...hrmpf.
Fine, let's try the Explorer, just to see. I wouldn't reeeeally turn it in, it's the family car. The newest of our vehicles, definitely the best looking of the three, it won't qualify, it gets pretty good gas mileage for an SUV. Maybe, just to see- Figures.
I object. The bill should have been called Cash For Gas-Guzzlers, not Clunkers. Can you sue for false advertising of a bill?
